If Only I Could

Yesterday I had an awesome italian dinner with my mother-in-law and my husband it was delectable. I love italian food. My mother-in-law talked the entire night. She told story after story about my husband and how he and his siblings grew up. We could barely get her to eat she was so excited to tell us about our family. My husband kept coaxing her to sample a piece of bread or a bite of shrimp. Finally, she took a breath and a few nibbles and went back into her story telling. When dinner was over, my husband went to bring the car around and I escorted my mother-in-law to the door. On the way out, she stood smiling up at me and touched my arm. She told me that marrying my husbands dad was the best thing should could have ever done. The marriage gave her 2 beautiful sons and such hearty memories. I watched my husband dote on his mother. His father is dead now, so he takes time to see after her along with his brothers. I observed him helping her with her coat and holding her arm as she walked across the slippery ice. My heart held this moment as a picture of hope for me. We drove home to the rapid fire of her stories. Some she told us again and again but it was the joy on her face that made it a perfect night out. My husband walked his mom to her front door, embracing her gently to shelter her from the cold and help her up the few stairs. He stood there watching her, just to make sure she got inside okay. He was a son, a wonderful child taking care of his mother. If only I could be that mother one day. As I pray this day I am considering adoption and IVF. My heart smiles because God has a purpose and a plan. Its time to trust in it and hold on to it. Maybe, with just a little faith (if only I could) can change to (I DID).