After 30 days of taking birth control to get my menstrual cycle under the doctors control, I started the Micro-dose lupron protocol on Christmas day. I am beginning Gonal F and Menopur today. These protocols can be confusing. The easiest way to get these concoctions exactly right is to lay everything out along with the instructions. I pin them on my bulletin board and mix it all up and take the shot. You get really good at it after a few days. If you have been through in-vitro a few times like me then you also may want to consider genetic testing. Continue reading Its almost time
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Everybody needs a pick me up sometimes and my cousin did more for me than she will ever know. It is comforting to have a person “in real life” who can somewhat understand the fertility that we all share. She shares the same dreams that we all do to have her very own “little one”.
I woke up this evening. My husband turned on the TV and decided to take a nap. He left the TV tuned to the movie P.S. I Love You. The movie is kind of morbid and a bit inspirational for me all at the same time. Its about a young lady who loses her husband at a young age and her dead husband wants to help her get through her bereavement so he writes her letters and plans things for her to experience and receive after his death. This “death” is kinda what I felt when I realized I could not get pregnant like everybody else. I wish I had someone to write me a letter and as I sat here and watched this movie I realized I did have a letter writer. I am writing my own letters. I don’t know how it would feel to be pregnant and sometimes I think I wouldn’t know what in the world I would do with a little baby. I know I would love it with every inch of everything in me but I also know that I am not pregnant and I am 40. There, I said it! I am 40 and my chances of getting pregnant are pretty slim. I am going to try one last time and then I need to move on, just like the young woman in the movie. I never allowed myself to grieve the loss of an opportunity. I lived perpetually in a fog over the last 4 years. I tried to be normal and, just, I don’t know I just lived. I loved my nieces and my nephew with so much vigor and that I will continue to do. Today, I am dealing with it. Do you ever get that feeling that everyone in the room knows that you can’t get pregnant. Sometimes I feel like people don’t know what to do when they want to announce their great news that “yippee” they are pregnant and ”oops” sorry I forgot you are not. I am finally looking in the mirror understanding that I can still be a mother even If I don’t have a baby naturally. It’s not an indictment on my womanhood and I am still going to try one last time. No-one told me how painful growing up can be. When you live in reality you have to face the truth and it really does set you free. I cried a lot throughout the movie because it felt good. I want you all to know that I pray with every bit of fervor that you have a beautiful baby. It is my cherished wish for each of you and the reality is that some of us will and some of us will not. But we will live. And how we live is up to us. God gave us a big responsibility, to live each day full of love and hope and inspiration.
What is the single most important thing a woman can do to improver her fertility odds? Continue reading The single thing a woman can do to improve her fertility odds? Repeat Well, I am feeling tired of the needles, the pills, the calendar, the appointments, ultrasounds, and disappointments. I have done every fertility treatment possible and now I have a storage closet full of meds and I am tired. I wonder does God mean for some of us to adopt? Is it wrong of me to try and try and try and try?? When is enough, enough? There are times when family doesn’t mean to blame you but they say things like ” you work to much” , “you are just too stressed”, “relax and stop trying so hard”, “you need to eat better”. It could be that all of those things are true but I believe we live in a world that we didn’t create and we surely can’t control. God is in control and if we really trust HIM then maybe just maybe HE has spoken??? Would we have ears to hear if it isn’t what we want to hear? Are we less of a woman because we adopt?
I started a third cycle preparing for In-vitro and since I had some runaway follicles (cysts) that continued to grow we had to stop just before I started taking the Micro-dose lupron shots. Well this time I have made it to the shots. I took my first set today. I saw my beautiful niece today and she smiled when I walked into my parents house. I held her close and smelled that wonderful baby smell. We played on the floor and talked baby talk. Her gorgeous smile made me remember why I am putting myself through all of this drama AGAIN. I am eating better. I have gone to a chiropracter and you know what, I have faith that God is so much in control that no matter what happens it will be OKAY. The shot hurt like heck. I must have forgotten how to give it. I am going to the doctors office tomorrow for a tune-up lesson. I need to be good at giving shots because going through this demands a lot of them. The only part that I don’t like to do is the shake n bake when you have to mix up the concoction of gonal f and menopur. I feel like a druggy really. I’ts a new session and this one will be quicker, so I will have to post more often. I am on shots now and IVF (when they take the eggs and put them back) happens July 6-13. Keep hope alive. The Fertility Diet: Eat Right to Get Pregnant – US News and World Report. What is the single most important thing a woman can do to improve her fertility odds?
I have to tell you “if it aint one thing, its another”. I went to the doctor last week and they found 2 renegade cysts. What this means is at the beginning of an IVF (invitro-fertilization) cycle they start by giving you birth control pills (a very low dose). When you take these pills, they should quiet your ovaries and your follicles (eggs) should stay small. Well 2 of my eggs protested being small and just kept on growing and growing to the tune of 17, 19. They should be under 8. So I have to stop the process and wait until my cycle starts again and then I can start again. I am how would you say “Tired as hell”. I am starting to lean more toward adoption. I am not giving up. I will wait until my cycle comes and begin a new cycle. I will tell you all about it whenever Mrs.Flow decides to visit. Faith truly is the substance or essence of things hoped for and it is also the evidence of those things which we can’t see. I am 40 years young 1 month ago tomorrow. I can see myself pregnant but I can also see myself adopting (which gives me the chance to turn back the clock) Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am on my way. This time I am trying hard to do something different before having invitro for the 3rd time. I am going to a chiropractor. We will see how it works. I have been to an acupuncturist in the past but I stopped because of the expense. I am now trying massage and chiropractics. Check out this post by Sheryl Lyon:http://fertility.amuchbetterway.com So you decided that you are ready to try to have a baby. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who conceives within a couple of months or maybe you will find yourself among millions of fertility challenged couples. Whether you are ready to start trying tomorrow or you have been trying for a decade, you might want to improve your odds of conception with a method that is quick, painless, inexpensive, and non-invasive. Believe it or not, a visit to the chiropractor may help you conceive. A series of research papers published in the Journal of Vertebral Subluxation Research found that chiropractic had positive results treating infertility regardless of the woman’s age, number of years infertile, previous medical intervention or health history including miscarriages, blocked fallopian tubes, amenorrhea, colitis, or trauma. Your spine is a central highway of nerves. Just as an electrical cord has to be fully plugged in for an appliance to run, your reproductive system will not function properly if the nerves that lead to them are not functioning or are blocked in some way. A chiropractor will identify pinched or pressed nerves and fix those spinal distortions, which are called subluxations. The distortions can be caused by many things including childhood falls, illnesses, accidents, poor posture, or even stress. Once the subluxations are minimized or eliminated, a woman’s menstrual cycle can strengthen, the action that delivers the egg through the fallopian tubes to the uterus can improve, and some cases of endometriosis can begin to reverse.
Naturally this does not mean that everyone will get pregnant after a visit to the chiropractor only that it has worked for many women. It is certainly an option worth exploring either alone or in conjunction with other infertility treatments particularly if you have ever had an accident or illness. You should be able to consult with a chiropractor and have an adjustment in less than an hour and the visit will probably cost $100 or less if it is not already covered by your insurance. The adjustments are totally non invasive, in fact they are done with the patient fully clothed. The procedure is painless although the sounds created by the adjustments may shock you at first. Seeing a chiropractor is a great idea even if you are not trying to conceive because the nerves in the spine lead to more than just your reproductive organs but if you are trying to conceive, the benefits to fertility are just too compelling to ignore. Does it really matter why or how it works? Or only that it works? Even if you do not believe in chiropractors why wouldn’t you try a proven fertility treatment that is easy, fast, gentle, non-invasive, covered by most insurance, inexpensive, painless and harmless? |
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It is interesting I have started to build up a library of medications. I have Birth Control Pills, Menopur, Gonal F, Ovidrel, Estrace, and the list goes on. I went through everything yesterday with my wonderful nurse Kathy. I want all of you to know that having a good nurse makes all of the difference. I ask silly questions. I ask the same questions more than once and each time I get sound clear answers. She never seems to get tired of me. The one thing that I did not realize is how important it is to take your birth control pills accurately. This seems like a futile step in the process because of course we are here because we can’t get pregnant but there is more to this than that. The doctor will actually be able to control your menstrual cycle by suppressing the growth of the follicles (eggs) in your ovaries. The little birth control pill does this. When I first did this I took the entire package including the pink placebos and then I called Nurse Kathy and asked her. She explained that I needed to only take the active (white ones in my case) and no placebos. It is good to have little tiny eggs sitting in their sleeping state waiting to be stimulated. I think of my life and how it is good to be a peace with yourself.
